Mayhem & Miracles

It is an unfortunate truth that mayhem is a necessary agent for a miracle to come through. The miracles we pray for are only possible when things in our lives are completely out of our control. Perhaps you’ve prayed for the redemption of a marriage that is falling apart, praying for the chains of addiction to be broken, or for a cancer diagnosis to be cured. 

When we are waiting on miracles it can feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders and having to carry the burdens of mayhem can be crushing. It’s through that crushing that God is able to use the destruction in our lives to show His power. 

It’s in the midst of the storm that we look around, seeing all the devastation and describe it as “unfortunate” “dreadful” and “terrible” but God knows the end game. He knows that if you can just hold on, He can show you that through it all, there is more to come that we can’t yet see. Without the “unfortunate” “dreadful” and “terrible”, there can’t be gifted the “beauty” “hope” and “freedom” He has in store for us. 

“The bigger the problem, the greater the triumph– and all glory to God for it!”

I was listening to a quick message from Joyce Meyer just yesterday that touched on the purpose behind our pain. We know from Romans 8:28, ‘that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.’ Yet, amid the storm, we quickly forget who has it all under control. As Joyce mentions– God is able to accomplish great things through the troubles that bring us the greatest pain but there’s also a part we play in the story; we must trust. It is through our trust in God that we are able to weather the storm. If we believe, we have the privilege as God’s kids to have faith that He is able to make all things work together for our good, it’s through our giving of faith that we are then gifted peace in the midst of the storm. What's more, we are then able to look back at our pain through a different lens. 

I know through my own experiences– it’s through the troubles and pain that I’ve grown closer to God. Just this last Mother’s Day I was able to see the beauty and restoration of our unfortunate experience with miscarriage; even a year ago I never would have thought that would be possible. 

When we go through challenging times we often focus on what’s being taken from us rather than what we can possibly gain from it. Miscarriage is a pain that is hardly understood unless you’ve gone through it yourself and the pain can be unimaginable. The loss leaves a wound that is often re-opened time and time again; it’s a wound that may never fully heal. I will say that through this pain, God’s been able to use it for my good.

As Mother’s Day is one of the most difficult times of the year for me, God used it as a chance to show me His favor and support. He showed me that not only was He with me through the pain but He showed me how He’s put some amazing women in my life to support me through as well. Normally I would avoid going to church altogether as it’s too painful to put on a smile and celebrate other mothers when you so badly wish your own babies were in your arms. But not only did God prepare me ahead of time with the strength to go to church this year but it actually turned out that this year we would be going to two Mother’s Day services. Now, I should preface this by saying, God is all about the small details if you’re paying attention. So not only was it a double dose of what I would normally avoid, it was during both services that my support system was closer than I had imagined– the women God placed in my life were seated behind me and their close presence gave me strength to get through it. It was during the second service that God revealed to me that not only was He there to lift me up but He had placed my ladies perfectly in a way where they literally had my back! I came out of this Mother’s Day weekend sore from the pain but also empowered! It was through this experience that He revealed himself to be closer than ever. It felt as though I was able to throw my pain right back in the enemy’s face! What he meant for harm, God has used for my good.

It’s taken time to heal from the pain of our losses but through it, I’ve not only grown in strength but it’s been coming through on the other side of the pain that I’ve been able to trust him with my pain. I’ll be honest— in the midst of the storm, I was mad at God! How could he let this happen to us not once but twice? It was at that darkest point that I turned away from him; I was still able to pray but the prayers came from a feeling of “you need to fix this!” rather than prayers for help and healing. Perhaps you can relate? After going through this I’ve realized that often when we are hurting so badly, we start to turn our backs on God but the truth is, He knows what we’re feeling and He’s not shocked by our reactions. Am I proud of how I handled my pain? No. But He’s proved to me that He never left me and He is able to redeem what’s been broken. 

It’s been a tough road to travel for my husband and me but God keeps revealing His goodness through it all. We may not have our babies here with us but what better place for them to be than with the Father in Heaven? God has shown me a peace that I’ve never had before, a hope that I’ve never experienced and it was only possible through this storm. God’s not done with our story yet as Isaiah 30:18 says, “But God’s not finished. He’s waiting around to be gracious to you. He’s gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right—everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.” (MSG)

His miracles are still yet to come for me and for you! 

I share my own story with the desire that it may encourage you to hang on to hope. I know this was something that’s really taken time to develop in me and it wasn’t by my own will but through the work of God and the Holy Spirit in me that I’ve grown in this. Strength is possible and God can do incredible things with our trouble, trust that He can!

Xoxo, 

Tera